Don't Just Turn off the Dark....Turn off Spiderman Completely

There's a bomb in Tiimes Square but don't call Homeland Security. It was planted there by Julie Taymor.

I have to admit I was intrigued by the idea of turning Spiderman into a Broadway Musical. I was tempted to go see Spiderman Turn off the Dark when I went to New York next week BUT that was before I saw the ticket prices for what almost every critic is almost as big a disaster as 911.

I have never seen The Lion King. I have never seen Beauty and the Beast. I have never seen The Little Mermaid (much to Larry's chagrin). I did see Tarzan. And the only reason I did can be summed up in five words: Josh Strickland in a loincloth. Still it was one of the most ill-conceived productions I have ever seen on Broadway and not just because the harness he had to wear covered up too much of Josh's loincloth.

People keep telling me that I would enjoy Beauty and the Beast. I saw the movie and I saw the Disney on Ice version. What more could I want?

I guess I did community theatre for too long. I cannot fathom a community theatre production lavish enough to do justice to the Broadway version unless you live somewhere out in the Hamptons. That is one reason I have little interest in it. That and the fact that it is a kid show. I haven't reached my second childhood.....yet but give me a few minutes.


As an actor I know there is nothing for me to portray in The Lion King.  I can't think of anything worse than having to wear a gigantic lion face on my head (I would end up stumbling around like Lucy in the Hollywood episode where she was asked to wear a giant headdress) or an audience being subjected to seeing my bare chest all night.

 I know the show was  huge success and that Julie Taymor was declared a theatrical genius when it opened. To me it is still a giant puppet show. To me she has never been an "actor's director." Theatre is about the human experience. As much as  Ilike all  the lighting effects and the glitz theatre still needs to be rooted in humanity.

Apparently Spiderman Turn off the Dark is all about the technical aspects of the show. You would think if that were the case they would have worked  a few of them out before they started previews. After spending 65 million dollars you would have thought they could have found a way to hide the wires that send actors flying to their possible deaths.

When I go to theatre in New York I want to see something that I can't see in the St. Louis area. I want to see a star or a new musical or play. I  generally prefer to see the original Broadway production of a show than the tour because the tours they send out now play theatres that are way too big for them. I don't want to go to The Fabulous Fox and see a set that isn't even big enough to fill a third of the stage or sit so far away that I have to use binoculars to see the actors. It's theatre. It's supposed to be an intimate, shared experience. Don't even get me started on the Muny. That's not theatre. It's a picnic with a show going on in the background.