Give me Glitz!

I miss the Ice Capades. Today the closest I get to them is watching Dancing With the Stars. Yes, I attend Smucker’s Stars on Ice but it doesn’t really attempt to even fill the void left by the loss of big glamorous ice extravaganzas. I blame Disney for this since they have been producing those god awful Disney on Ice revues. It is really hard to glam up Toy Story on Ice. Even when I was a kid myself I hated the “kids numbers” in the Ice Capades. And why they wasted my time with clowns I will never know. I wanted to see pretty girls in beautiful costumes with matching wigs and Vegas style headgear. The only comedy I needed was seeing which Ice Capette got left behind as she struggled to be the last to latch on to the pinwheel they formed before doing their high kicks.



Going to the Ice Capades was the highlight of my year. I still remember anticipating the start of the show, waiting until the lights went out, listening for the sizzle of the performers’ skates behind the curtain as the announcers’ voice filled the darkened arena. “Ladies and gentlemen….the very best, the Ice Capettes and Ice Cadets!”

A real orchestra played in those days as the skaters took their place and the lights came up to reveal the lavish costumes. I can still picture Aja Zanova with her beehive hairdo wearing a bright yellow cape escorted by two handsome Ice Cadets. She raised her arms letting a cloud of organza fly as the Ice Cadets took her cape and skated off (probably to fight over it themselves backstage) leaving her to go through her series of jumps and spins.


No Ice Capades penant for me. I always bought a souvenir program. It costs no more than fifty cents back then. Unfortunately none of my original programs are intact because for weeks afterwards I played Ice Capades in the darkness of my bedroom closet. (If that wasn’t a clue to my parents, I don’t know what was!) I would cut the pictures out, taping some of the solo skaters to Popsicle sticks and arrange the larger pictures in the back of a shoe box. I cut a slit in the top so the soloists could “skate” in front of the background. I used old Bunny Bread wrappers stretched over a flashlight for a spotlight and played for hours humming as much of the music from the show I could remember.

Today I have only Dancing With the Stars to fill this void on a regular basis. When they first started advertising this show a few years ago I was certain no one would want to watch it other than me. Happily I was wrong. Of course last season I was in heaven when Evan Lysacek was among the dancers. I don’t even mind that Bristol Palin is slated for this season. Glitz is glitz and I will take it any way I can get it. Since she has said she will be wearing only ‘modest’ outfits this can only mean one thing. There will be even more fabric to cover with sequins! Let’s face it. Levi doesn’t seem like the brightest light in the Aurora Borealis but I doubt even he wanted to see Bristol in something skimpy.