With Apologies to the Drivers of Oregon but not to the GPS Lady

Having arrived safely home from Oregon yesterday I feel I owe the drivers of Oregon a huge apology. I wrecked a rental car on vacation in Arizona a few years ago and since then I have been extremely apprehensive when driving rental cars. I am not generally an overly cautious driver (huge understatement) but after receiving a bill for nearly $2000 a year after my wreck in Arizona I am terrified of wrecking another. According to them the car was out of service for three weeks and even though my insurance company and I had paid for the repair I still owed the rental company for every day the car could have been rented but was in the body shop. They said it took three weeks to repair. I  am sure whoever took it in told the rental shop to just fit it in when they had the time.


So yes it was me driving in the wrong lane on Oregon route 26 most of the week. I was the one stopping forever at stop signs downtown wondering which way to turn. I was the one creeping along US route 405 looking for my exit. Thank you for not honking. I completely understand you passing me with those glowering looks. These are all qualities I abhor in others.


I must say however that the GPS lady was of absolutely no use and was relieved when my daughter Megan rode along with us and found her just as irritating as Larry and I did. Does this woman really think that I can accurately measure the distance in  feet while driving? She was constantly telling me to "turn right in 300 feet" in areas where there seemed to be opportunities to turn everywhere. Her most annoying instruction was when she told me to "Turn right then left," where there was only one way to turn. I am usually opposed to 'updates' since they generally cause my electronic devices to cease functioning properly but I believe this 'woman' is due for one immediately.


In the end I started relying on Mapquest before I headed out, a website that has led me astray on numerous occasions. They have a few of those infamous "turn right then turn left" directions too.

What I really need from the GPS lady is information like what lane I should be using. This would be too much to ask of anyone since whoever designed Oregon's highway system had a fondness for opening lanes then closing then without warning. Do the guys who work for state departments of transportation have hidden cameras along the road so they can sit and laugh at poor drivers like me that get trapped in lanes unable to get over when they suddenly disappear? At least the rental car we were in had California plates. I am sure Oregon drivers are used to being annoyed by California drivers.

I am safe back home now where I know the hazards of the local roads, happily complaining about the farm equipment moving too slowly  in front of me. I love harvest season.