Sunday, September 5, 2010

300 Channels, Nothing to Watch

I have three hundred channels on my Direct TV and there is nothing to watch.


CBS is showing the US Open……Why watch? I can tell you now one of the Williams sisters is going to win. I tried to play tennis once. It took a lot more energy than it looked like. My calves hurt afterwards. Nothing was more embarrassing than when I took tennis and badminton in college. I had gotten used to all the other guys making fun of me in high school p. e. but college p.e. was coed, now there were girls laughing at me as well.


The History Channel never shows anything historical anymore. It’s all about pawn shops and ice road truckers. I guess they figured no one likes history. I do. But I guess a single viewer isn’t worth their trouble.


The Learning Channel  has taken the same tactic and stopped showing anything educational. I don’t regard watching someone raise more kids than they should have had in the first place educational. Besides, I don’t think they regard this as the cautionary tale it should be.


Logo, the gay and lesbian channel is in the middle of another Buffy the Vampire Slayer marathon. Who came up with these marathons anyway? A programming executive on vacation?  And what is gay about Buffy the Vampire Slayer? The fact that lesbians are hot for her does not count.

 
AMC, American Movie Classics is showing something less than five years old. I am 56 and don’t consider myself a classic yet. To me the film isn’t a classic unless it is older than I am. If I can remember when a movie was new then I still regard it as a new film.  If they want me to watch they better have Joan Crawford or Bette Davis on the screen.

Some poor woman is getting revenge for a rape she suffered at the hands of her no-good husband on Lifetime. I can only assume it is a different woman from last week. Don’t these women know not to marry anyone they meet on a Lifetime movie set?


The Hallmark channel is running a Who’s the Boss marathon. I guess they can no longer afford to “show the very best” since they started selling cards at WalMart.


MTV no longer shows videos. They have more important programming like Pimp My Ride to broadcast.

I refuse to keep up with the Kardashians on E! A guy has to have some standards.

The Real Housewives of D. C. are on Bravo. If they want to film some real housewives they need to find a nice trailer park where the women actually fix dinner and clean once in a while.


I am giving up and finding whatever channel that feisty little redheaded home economist Kathy is selling her GT Express on this weekend. I already wore out three of them. It’s time to order a new one. At least I don’t have to get out my credit card. All the operators have the number memorized by now.







2 comments:

  1. I wasn't aware you had "worn out" three of Kathy's gadgets. My, you certainly cook more than I realized-ha! TV has its ups and downs, Direct TV is a heck of a lot better than comcast, you know that, maybe something will run soon to one another's liking.

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  2. Do what I do when there isn't anything on tv (and sometimes when there IS something on tv) watch Home Shopping or QVC!! :-)

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