Oprah has a Sister

Would someone please tell me what the appeal of Oprah is? Her name starts with O. Her magazine is simply called O. Her network is OWN. She is Obsessed with O. Maybe that is because she is such an Opportunist.

I swear I Only watched One minute of this dribble. I was determined not to Observe this historic Onnouncement that Oprah had been hawking all weekend through every media Outlet but when I turned On my TV yesterday afternoon there was the big O blubbering away with her new found half sister.

Call me callous but I don't find this an Outstanding Occasion.What would be really shocking would be to find a camera Oprah wasn't Obsessed with. I think it is a little Onerous that this  Onnouncement was made just a couple weeks after Oprah's new network was launched, a network that needs every ratings point it can find.

Maybe the woman is sincere. Maybe she is pure in heart. Maybe she is the greatest thing since cell phone customers were given free nights and weekends but does she have to be Omnipotent?

Of course Entertainment Tonight used this Occasion to do another Oprah story. They are Obsessed with Oprah. (I don't know why. I suspect Oprah has some dirt on Mary Hart.) On Entertainment Tonight Oprah was absolutely Overjoyed that her new half sister who had kept the secret since 1997 had not Once gone to the tabloids and tried to profit from the story.. I don't blame her. I would be holding Out for the big bucks tOO! Whatever Oprah is Offering has to be more than even the Enquirer can Offer.

Whatever, Oprah. I am tired of you being Omnipresent. I have a couple more O words for you, Oprah. You're Obnoxious and I can't wait till you are Obsolete.