Do We Really Need This Much Inspiration?

2011 is supposed to be the year when I finally get the opportunity to live my best life. I know this because Oprah told me so.


Yes. Yes! I caved. My curiosity got the better of me over the weekend and I tuned in just to see what Oprah was sharing.


I  thought that Direct TV wasn't going to carry OWN but they are. Geez couldn't they just put on another ESPN or religious channel?  I suppose Jan Crouch over on TBN is running out of pastel colors to tint her hair and only the big O can provide the makeover inspiration she needs. Sorry, Jesus when it comes to cosmetics no one can touch Oprah's team.

Behind the Scenes of Season 25 was playing when I switched on the television. The title was something  like that. I told you I wasn't going to do research for this blog. And I am certainly NOT going to break that rule for an Oprah post. I  might find something I like about her and I would no longer have a reason to live.


Later that day the episode was running in reruns. It's nice to know that not even Oprah has enough money to run original programming on her network 24 hours a day. What I really wanted to see was behind the scenes of Behind the Scenes. The whole thing looked pretty homogenized to me. I am nothing if not fair though and I do applaud Oprah for appearing on camera feeding her cat without makeup (Oprah was without makeup ,not the cat. As finicky as cats are the cat probably insisted on makeup even for Oprah Behind the Scenes. Wait...it  may have been a dog....I warned you I am not doing research for an Oprah post)


Another program was an overview show featuring Oprah introducing the network. The set was gorgeous, vibrant hues of orange, green and blue. Oprah was in a white off the shoulders outfit (the shoulders are always the last to go!) She looked a lot like Jesus. I bet he wishes he could afford his own network.

I tried, I really tried to watch Oprah's All Stars (I am sure of that title. See, part of my memory is still intact.) But I just cannot stand Suzie Orman. I thought she was supposed to be a financial expert or something but her advice always starts with her saying, "Now take your first thirty thousand and put it in CDs. Take your next thirty thousand and put that in bonds but hold on to that last 30,000 and keep it somewhere liquid." If I had that kind of money I wouldn't need your advice, Suze. Call me when you can help me turn the $4.50 that's left in my checking account at the end of the month into a Park Avenue penthouse.


The show that really depresses me is the reality competition show they are promoting that will give some lucky contestant their own talk show. Damn me for having standards. If I had been following Oprah the last year or so I could have auditioned for this show. I doubt I would have made the cut. I don't think offending people is Oprah's idea of living your best life.