Finally America Has Come to its Senses

No, I am not talking about a return to civility in public discourse following the tragedy in Tucson last Saturday. (We'll see how long those patriotic Americans at Fox allow that to happen)

No, I believe everything is finally right in this country now that the Miss America Pageant is returning to network TV.

It was absolutely Un-American for the networks to banish this hallowed institution to  cable TV the last five years especially when the trampier Miss USA and Miss Universe were allowed to remain on broadcast television. You really don't think Donald Trump gives Miss Universe a suite in Trump Tower for nothing do you? Rest assured there is a price to pay for that honor, my dears.

Miss America has talent! And now that I can record it and fast forward through anyone that isn't twirling batons I won't mind that part of the competition.

Where this pageant really went wrong was when they fired Bert Parks several years ago. Yes, he got to big for his britches. Yes he thought he was more important than the contestants but guess what. He was right. When he left the show it went downhill immediately.

To give the girls a taste of the cheesiness factor they had them visit Barry Manilow's Vegas show this week. I can just hear some long time pageant official telling Barry now, "I knew Bert Parks, Barry. You're no Bert Parks."

Today's Miss America is more relevant than ever. They have to have a platform to compete for the title. Who are they kidding? No one cares what Miss America's platform is. She's a throwback, a nostalgia figure.

 If they want to take the pageant into the 21st century they will crown a Mr. America too. If someone is going to be strolling down the runway in a Speedo on my television I want it to be Mr. Kansas not Miss Arizona.