Justin Bieber Should be Arrested

There are accounts this morning that Justin Bieber was questioned by police about an alleged incident of assault on another young man in a  laser park. Justin told police he may have hit the other boy accidentally as he was pushing his way through a crowd of kids that were teasing him. I have to admit Justin's account sounds credible.

Justin is just beginning to learn the laws of the universe. People with perfect hair and teeth get teased. (And aren't his lips WAY too pink?)

I don't know  what a laser park is and I have no idea what you would do there. But if he was there he should be arrested because everything about this kid is just too YOUNG.

I believe the reason Justin appears so young is because he has kidnapped John Davidson and is keeping him in  a basement where he gets older and older as Justin grows younger and younger.

It is insulting that a young man with as much hair as Justin is already combing it forward to cover his forehead. What's he going to do by the time he is fifty?

 He does have a forehead somewhere doesn't he? The CIA dispatched two agents six months ago to investigate and they still have found no evidence it exists.

I  understood his appeal when he appeared in the above skit with Tina Fey but then  he sang!  It was all too sweet. I had to go brush my teeth immediately for fear of being toothless by morning.