I Want to Replace Andy Rooney

Isn't it about time for Andy Rooney to retire? Wait. I think I am about 25 years too late. But seriously as far as I can see he only writes one essay a week. I could do that. Since I have started this blog I have written at least three a week.

From what I can tell all he does is sit around a cluttered office, picking up a few items and commenting on them. My house is cluttered too. Although if I just randomly held up items to comment on sooner or later one of them would surely be last Thursday's underwear, Tuesday's socks or last night's dinner plate.

I could easily replace Andy Rooney. Another famous Andy, Andy Warhol once said in the near future we would all have 15 minutes of fame. It's about time I got mine.

Most people these days achieve their fifteen minutes on reality TV and frankly I don't have the abs for it. I mean if I ran around shirtless on Big Brother next summer it would give a new meaning to Big Brother. Come to think of it they never have old fat people on that show.

There is one aspect of filling in for Andy Rooney I am not willing to concede to just yet. If the job involved growing hair out my ears or bushy eyebrows I would just have to pass. It's not that I don't have the ability.  I just haven't given up trimming them........yet.