I am not now and have never been much into symbolism which is kind of bad news when you realize that some of the most important Christians beliefs hinge on it....you know like communion.
Last night I attended our community Good Friday service. I didn't want to go. I was held hostage (emotionally anyway) because I am the music director at the First United Methodist Church here. Many years ago someone came up with the bright idea of having a mass choir from all the churches do a song for the community Thanksgiving service and since then we are stuck doing it for Good Friday as well. As a choir director this means I am forced to go to two services a year I would otherwise ignore.
If it weren't for the mass choir (which lately only consists of the Presbyterians and us) no one would go to the Good Friday Service. I am beginning to resent this. Sure I know it is Holy Week but do I have to go to church every day because of it? How about getting a few of those once a year people who only attend church on Easter to come just a couple more Sundays a year and let those of us who are still regular attenders enjoy a spring holiday when we actually had time to do something other than go to church.
Is this making me bitter? Yes! This probably stems from the fact that not only is it Holy Week but I have a major musical production, Guys and Dolls opening next week and have been painting sets and picking up props from the four corners of the earth all week.
Last night the Good Friday service was a Tenebrae service, one of those services where the lights are lowered after each Bible passage. By the time we got to the community choir's number the lights were so low I couldn't read my music which made the entire reason for being a the service pointless for me.
They have a great pipe organ at Westminster Presbyterian and two very talented organists but I am used to the Methodist style of hymn singing, fast and furious. Every hymn went on forever and remember this is Good Friday so we aren't talking about tunes like Irving Berlin's Happy Holidays and I am sitting in a sanctuary so dark I can't read the tiny print in the hymnal even with my industrial strength reading glasses.
At least the Presbyterians' new minister didn't take the opportunity to show off his preaching prowess. New ministers in town are always pressed upon to host the community service giving people from other congregations the opportunity to give thanks that they have the minister they do or call a quick meeting of the pastor parish committee to discuss getting someone who can preach like that new guy the Baptists have (Actually in Sparta the Baptists don't join in community services....no one else in town can quite come up to their standards of holiness apparently)
After a prelude, seven scriptures, seven readings, seven brief commentaries, a pastoral prayer, an offertory, four hymns and three special numbers including a trumpet solo by one of the ministers who played a medley of every hymn ever written that included the word cross in it even once we were dismissed in silence.
Excuse me???? Silence? Oh yeah it's Good Friday so we have to be all depressed and everything. The only payoff for attending these community services is getting a chance to socialize with people from other congregations afterwards and they want us to leave in silence?
I guess I should be thankful that I wasn't attending services in St. Louis where one parish's roof got blown off during the service. Now that would be something worth getting depressed about.
"They treated him like a common criminal!" The mother of an eight year old boy who broke off a sharp piece of molding so he could kill his teachers claims after police pepper sprayed him.
Gee ya think so lady? I do too! He was treated like a common criminal because that's what you are raising.
It wasn't the first time police had been called to the school to try to defuse a situation concerning your son. After all the third time is the charm. The child has since been moved to a special school where they can better handle this type of situation. Hmmm I thought they closed Alcatraz.
The kid isn't on medication (which I don't believe in any way) and he readily admits he has anger issues.What this kid needs is a teacher with anger issues themselves so they can put an end to his shenanigans. Maybe someone from the WWF would do. But these aren't just shenanigans. This kid is a clear and present danger. And he isn't going to get any smaller. From the looks of him it looked like he had been hitting the HoHos pretty hard already.
He and his mother were making the morning news show rounds this week and I am sure they have a lawyer looking out for their rights. What about the rights of the other kids in his classroom? I only read the online reports but I hope someone at the Today show asked the woman how she managed to raise a junior terrorists like this.But I am sure they coddled her too just like the schools are forced to do.
I can assure you that every time some adult maniac commits some incredible crime there are at least twenty or thirty of their former teachers at home watching the news thinking to themselves, "I knew this would happen one day."
He needs to be taken away from her and put somewhere where someone will discipline him. These are always the same kind of parents that either say, "I don't know what to do with him," or are constantly on guard making sure their little cherub's rights aren't being violated.
She is right about one thing though. They shouldn't have used pepper spray. They should have tried something a little less painful a long time ago.
Has anyone else noticed how absolutely lousy weekend television is lately? I am talking about what the networks routinely offer up on Friday and Saturday nights. It's all reruns or as the networks like to call them encores. Even daytime programming is airing "encores" now. I don't need to tune in to All My Children to see Erica's eleventh marriage for the second time.
But I have a conspiracy theory regarding the weekend programming or lack of programming that the networks are routinely offering up now. I believe they are in cahoots with the movie industry to make television so bad that we are forced to go to the movies to find some entertainment on weekends. And what will we see when we get there? B-rated films starring television stars like Jennifer Aniston (yawn) and Kevin James (double yawn)
Lately I can't even find a film worth going to. The passing of Elizabeth Taylor just serves to remind us that there are no bigger than life stars anymore. Brad dumping Jennifer for Angelina hardly compares to the Elizabeth/Eddie Fisher/Debbie Reynolds love triangle.
These days the most I can wish for is a marathon of RuPaul's Drag Race on Logo or episode after episode of Top Chef on E! The latter is having serious consequences for my diet. Every time one of those chefs stirs up a chocolate mousse or an eclair filled with exotic ingredients I rush to the kitchen where the best I can rustle up is a pudding cup or a Twinkie.
But I refuse to succumb to the power of the movie studios....until Streisand finally gets the final go ahead from Arthur Laurents to film the remake of Gypsy or Colin Firth reads the phone book on camera.
A few weeks ago my internet connection became spotty. To their credit it was really the first time since Frontier bought my service from Verizon that I have had any trouble. When I finally got through to customer service I heard a message saying that if you lived in IL they knew there was a problem and they were working on it.
The problem reoccurred last week but this time they were unaware of any current wide ranging problems although I suspect it was from some kind of improvement they were trying to do on their system because the service would come and go every five minutes. Sometimes a couple of days would pass and I would have no interruption.
But I received an automated call from Frontier (Is there any other kind?) last week asking me to call them and set up an appointment which I did. After waiting nearly half an hour to talk to a real live person they finally set me up with a time slot so they could improve my service which was working perfectly fine by that point, thank you very much.
I know that when they tell you to be home between the hours of one and five that you have no business expecting them till four forty-five unless you run out on a quick errand in which case they will show up the minute your car has left the driveway. By four p.m. no one had arrived and just to be testy I gave them a call.
Because of my inability to switch from one phone call to another on my cell phone I lost the first representative I talked to today but the second person I made contact with informed me that Frontier had in fact forgotten to tell the service men that they needed to be here today.
I was incredulous. "What?" I asked. "I have never heard of such a thing!" I lied....I was in fact not surprised at all. I just hope the Tony Award nominating committee was listening in on that phone call. It is about time I got my due as an actor.
So now I get to sit at home again on Thursday afternoon waiting for the Frontier man. Let's just hope he looks a lot like Sully from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman or Michael Landon from Little House on the Prairie when he arrives but with my luck I will probably get someone more along the lines of Jeff Bridges in True Grit.
It isn't that I have anything to do on Thursday afternoon or most afternoons but when you are told you have to stay home it takes all the fun out of watching General Hospital. Ever since they relegated Monica to a minor role the show hasn't been worth watching.
I don't know who the awful woman is that makes all those recordings for companies that you try to call for tech support but if I ever find her I am going to force her to take a good hard look at herself. She is soooo damn incompetent. I can't stand her patient tone. She never has the "number" I need. You know the drill. Press one for....press two for.....
Her voice sounds pleasant enough but I bet she has a head full of snakes, forcing her to stay hidden in a cave where she is forced to find work as a voice over artist. I picture this modern day Medusa living on an island just off the coast of India where she protects the citizens of that land from unnecessary calls so they can take breaks using their electronic devices and thinking up plots for even worse Bollywood films than they have subjected us to already.
Someone has to be protecting them otherwise they would just PICK UP THE DARN PHONE.
The worst of these is the Verizon lady. Verizon is no longer my Internet provider but when Frontier bought them out in whatever back door scheme they came up with they some how managed to find the same irritating woman to do their voice over work.
And some how they have made the process by which you FINALLY get to a real person even longer with even more insipid questions and press one choices.
And what happens when you finally get Sahib (who is calling himself Rodney, Randy or Ralph today in an effort to appear more Westernized) on the line? He asks you to verify the very same information that Medusa had you input on your touch tone phone.
Three things you can always be assured of when you do get Sahib on the phone; he won't be able to understand you, he won't be able to solve your problem and when he transfers your call the system will lose it and you have to listen to Medusa's siren song again. (I might have just mixed up my myths)
I could fix the nation's unemployment dilemma in one easy stroke; enact a law that demands businesses doing business in this country hire Americans, real live Americans to answer the phone. And no phone system should be allowed to ask you more than ONE press one question before you talk to a live representative. And please no one from Mississppi, Da Bronx, or any "valley girls" need apply for one of these positions. I won't be able to understand them either
Why do these things always ALWAYS happen when the church is full of guests? I can't really say there is anything like a typical Sunday at my church but if there were this would not have been one of them. We had a guest musician, the children's choir and a puppet show instead of the children's sermon. The choir was doing a simple old song called, "I've Got a Mansion Just Over the Hilltop" since we were having instrumental music for the prelude and offertory and half our sopranos were gone.
It all went well. For once we were able to fit a lot into the service and still manage to get out in about an hour. (In my Old Testament there are 11 commandments. The 11th one reads: mama has a roast in the oven so unless you are serving communion church better get in out an hour)
No two Sundays are ever exactly alike at our church, and for now let's assume that is a good thing. The congregation puts up with me, even allows me to serve the music director so I tend to give them a lot of leeway. It is a very accepting, loving congregation.
So it is easy to understand why I am probably the only one who was irritated when the minister went to the alter to deliver his closing prayer and a cell phone rang. But that is not my complaint. It could easily have happened to me. (I however have a very tasteful, nonobtrusive ring tone) But the cell phone didn't just ring The old (and I do mean old even by Biblical standards) man that it belonged to did not have enough sense to walk out of church or heaven forbid (literally) silence it.
Not only did he not silence it he proceeded to have an entire conversation while we were having closing prayer! in fact his last words to whatever nonchurch-going heathen he was talking to were, "I'm at church!"
"We know!" I wanted to shout.
After church everyone was very Christian about it I must say. They considered the source and laughed it off.
I had vowed to hunt down the offender and make sure someone, anyone had let him have it but he was simply too old to confront. Besides as slow as he is he still managed to get out of church before I left the choir loft and greeted some of the guests that I knew in the congregation.
There comes a time when you are simply too old to have a cell phone or for that matter any new invention. I sometimes wonder if that day isn't soon approaching for me. At least this guy assured me that I deserved to have all my electronic devices.
The only one he should be left with is a pacemaker and whatever that device is they hang around old people's necks when they have fallen and can't get up.
God may forgive but I hold grudges.
Apparently Mike "The Situation" Sorrenson appeared at a Comedy Central roast last night for Donald Trump and bombed. And today like American media did what they love to do best; they are all climbing all over the guy.
Have they seen any Comedy Central roasts? They are never funny. The jokes are always crass and stale and the material is always tired. It's hard to fill an hour with Donald Trump jokes. After you have insulted the hair and the wives what else is there?
I applaud The Situation for trying to create a brand for himself and attempting to pad his resume with something more than his appearances on Jersey Shore.
I thought he was charming on Dancing With the Stars. He could easily have just blown off the entire appearance on that show, flashing his abs weekly. That's all they really wanted. The fact that he didn't have much aptitude for dancing was beside the point. He tried and he was gracious and respectful of the program.
Today the pundits are all advising The Situation not to quit his day job but I applaud the guy for trying to improve himself. (and his bank account)
Let's not judge Charlie Sheen too harshly. Maybe he is just getting ready for Lent. After all today is Fat Tuesday and maybe h,e like millions of Americans is just going out on one more binge before Lent.
Who am I kidding? Neither Charlie or most Americans has any intent on giving up anything for Lent. I don't. I am not now and never have been into symbolism.
The first time I remember anyone mentioning symbolism was in Sophomore English when some girl climbed up to the top of a tree in a short story we were reading and it was supposed to stand for something a great deal more prolific. I didn't care then and I don't care now. I am sure this was not the first time an English teacher had tried to explain the concept but it was the first time I paid a little attention at least.
The Streets of Soulard in St. Louis were filled with Mardis Gras revelers last weekend. At least I assume they were. I went once, on a Saturday after the parade was over. The crowd had abated somewhat by then but I didn't see what the attraction was. Beads you could buy for yourself at any novelty shop and beer?
Maybe I should have learned to appreciate the taste of beer but I never did. It isn't that I am opposed to drinking. I just don't see the point. Alcohol loosens you up I know. But quite frankly in any given day I am apt to conduct myself in ways I regret without being under the influence of alcohol or illicit drugs. I don't even like the fact that I have to take blood pressure medicine.
And I can guarantee you that the same group of people that were on the streets of Soulard last weekend will be Downtown St. Louis this weekend for The Saint Patrick's Day parade. Couldn't churches in the area just save a little electricity and cancel their Ash Wednesday services this week? What is the point?
Morning after morning I get up to get my daily dose of Matt Lauer but just can't find the nerve to turn on the television wondering which Middle Eastern country is falling into chaos sending gas prices skyrocketing or which governor has declared his state's teachers public enemy number one.
I guess he is going by Muammar now but I still remember him as Colonel Gaddafi. He was a nut job forty years ago. We've had ten years to roam around Afghanistan but we couldn't have done anything about this loony toon in the last forty years?
If it weren't Libya it would be Iran or Iraq or some other country in the Mideast. Can't we just take a decade off from this area? I assume the answer is no since we still need their oil. How nice it must have been to live in the pre-automobile age when you wouldn't have had to care which of these nations was going after one another or the despots that run them. The last time they had a model citizen roaming around that area of the world they crucified him. Before that they probably complained about what Moses' parting of the Red Sea did to their water pressure.
I realize it is partially my fault. Like most Americans I am addicted to oil. We have known since the mid-seventies that the Mideast couldn't be trusted to provide a stable supply of oil so why didn't someone, anyone develop another type of engine in that time period?
Again I blame myself for this. If I had just assigned a few more science projects one of my former students may have invented a new type of engine by now.
So I guess it is all teachers' faults as the governors of Wisconsin and New Jersey would attest. Who are these people? I mean really. Fat ass Chris Christie never attended public school and his kids attend private school. He attended Catholic school. Why should public school teachers suffer because he got his knuckles rapped? (deservedly so I am certain) I am sure not even the nuns liked him. Noone, not even a nun has that much love of Jesus coursing throught their veins.
He just looks like a bully and we all know bullies are unhappy people with deep seeded personal issues (unlike bloggers) I am certain something in his past caused this resentment of teachers, probably because they didn't allow him to eat in class or only let him have one chicken leg on fried chicken day in the cafeteria. Or maybe he is just an opportunist who was determined to find some group to be a scape goat for his political agenda.
That guy in Wisconsin, Scott Walker is even worse, wanting to take away collective bargaining rights for public workers with the exception the ones who supported his campaign. The hypocrisy and arrogance of these people is astounding. It's even been revealed that the guy was asked to leave college for cheating. I believe people can change but the fact he became a politician isn't a very good indication that he is trying to put his best foot forward is it?
At least I have Charlie Sheen to give me comfort. His is a sad, sad case. My mother told me that money couldn't buy you happiness. Apparently she did not know about mind altering drugs and wouldn't admit to me that there were people in the world that made their money in the sex industry. I would say Charlie bought him some happiness, for a while anyway.
I can't say I will miss Two and a Half Men. Like most sitcoms it became predictable several seasons ago. I always thought his costar, Jon Cryer was more talented anyway.
Thank goodness all is not lost. They finally announced the next cast of Dancing With the Stars although at this point they need to rename it Dancing With a Disney Prodigy, a Couple of Has Beens and a Couple of People so Obsure This Will be their One Shot at Fame. I mean really. Ralph Macchio? Did they really run out of ex boy banders this quickly?
Larry and I were lucky not to be arrested by the fashion police after modeling the hat I bought for Emily from a very authentic lookikng vendor on South Broadway on our recent trip.
Thursday night we arrived in NYC in plenty of time to head to the TKTS booth where we picked up half price tickets for Lombardi at Circle in the Square. The ushers informed us we were sitting in the "end zone" I can only assume this is a football term. I've never heard it used in the theatre before.
It was a little odd to see people with cheese head hats and Packers jerseys at a Broadway show. Judith Light was impeccable as Marie Lombardi. I predict a Tony nomination if not an award for her. I loved her on One Life to Live and Who's The Boss. It's always fun to see an actor you admire up close.
Friday we were off to the intimate Mitzi Newhouse theatre in Lincoln Center to see the best show of the trip, Other Desert Cities with Linda Lavin and Stockard Channig.
After being so impressed by her in The Sisters Rosensweig a few years ago I was afraid I might have set my expectations too high. Impossible! The woman is a comic genius. (despite all those episodes of Alice). It was great to see Stockard Channing live for the first time. She did not disappoint. Elizabeth Marvel who played the daughter who returns home after a six year absence was right on par with these two great stage actresses.
Saturday morning we headed downstairs to the overpriced diner in the hotel but no one minded since we were having brunch with my old college friend, George Lightcap and his lovely wife, Jean. Is there anything better on earth than the opportunity to catch up with an old friend and complain about the current governor of New Jersey at the same time?
Saturday afternoon we got to see Harvey Firestein and Jeffrey Tambor in La Cage Aux Folles. Jeffrey was striking in his wig. So was Harvey although he got to change his more often.
It's easy to see why New York audiences adore Harvey. We got to see them in their first week of performances after replacing Kelsey Grammer and Douglas Hodge which led to a few surprises like seeing Jeffrey cracking Harvey up with unexpected business on a couple of occasions and seeing Jeffrey wrestle while he tried to put on his wig for the finale.
I adore Harvey but listening to him croak out a tune takes some perserverance. Jeffrey isn't much of a singer either but since I often complain about musicals where no one can act it's only fitting that I sit through one occasionally where no one can sing.
Well now I have to take that back. The show does have Christine Andreas singing The Best of Times in Act II. I hadn't seen her on stage since The Scarlet Pimpernel (version 1.0) Warning to anyone who is going to be in my cabaret revue this spring: we will be doing The Best of Times for the closer again.
Larry loves Mamma Mia so much that I gave in and let him go see it Sat. night. At first it was good to hear some good singing but after the umpteenth Abba tune and all the emoting that went along with it grew a bit tiring. The energetic young cast never lets you know for one minute that this show has been playing almost ten years now. And at least they booted Cats out of the Winter Garden to house it. The curtain call was the best part of the show. Maybe they should just chuck the script and do a concert.
Sunday we got to see at least part of That Championship Season with Chris Noth, Kiefer Sutherland and Jason Patric. Our seats were so far to the right in the mezzanine we were unable to see much of the action (or inaction since the actors were sitting on a sofa down stage left, out of our view) in Act I. Act II was better in this regard. When I called Telecharge to complain later they actually listened to me. I don't know if they will do anything about it but it was nice to be heard.
Jason was perfectly cast as Kiefer's alcholic brother and Kiefer played a bit of a loser which was a nice stretch for him. Chris Noth's character was a bit more in line with his image but Larry agreed with me he didn't quite have the acting chops to carry off his emotional breakdown at the end of Act II. Somehow we both forgave him. I can't think why.
Monday morning NYC got another snowfall a small one in comparison to other snows it has had this year but it was enough to make Central Park which was two and a half blocks from our hotel even more picturesque than usual. We weren't the only tourists snapping pictures that morning. And for once Larry took my advice (which Fox News has given a 100 % approval rating to so you know it has to be accurate) and headed out before the light snowfall stopped. We were out in it just as it hit its peak.
Since neither of us had spent quite enough money yet we had the bellman at the Wellington book us a limo for the drive to the airport. It must have been a slow day for limo service because when it arrived it was stretch limo complete with beautiful little LED twinkle lights in the ceiling. Finally I get to travel in a style befitting my station. Of course if the state of Illinois finds out about this they are sure to reduce my pension.
The Stars on Ice 25th Anniversary Tour does not include St. Louis. They were nice enough to send a personal response to an email I sent expressing my disappointment. The tour was cut back this year because of budget cuts and they hope to restore the St. Louis stop in future years. This does not make my heart swell up with hope.
I attend Stars on Ice regularly. I enjoy the high level of skating but it pales in comparison with the glitz, glamor and sheer gaudiness of the Ice Capades. Scott Hamilton started his own company when the Ice Capades refused to pay him as much as they had paid Dorothy Hamill, claiming that a male skater didn't have the draw of a female.
That is probably true. People have always admired their skating queens. (you will have to insert your own Johnny Weir joke here) Americans adore their Dorothy Hamills, Michelle Kwans and Nancy Kerrigans. So do I but the men's skating is so powerful. It just isn't an ability most other people hold in high esteem I guess.
I wish the Ice Capades had met Scott Hamilton's price. They might have folded anyway but if they had he might not have started Stars on Ice. Despite Stars on Ice bare bones production values it looks like even they are in trouble.
The only big ice shows that survive now are those god-awful Disney on Ice reviews. Even as a kid I hated the children's numbers during the Ice Capades. They never wore sparkly outfits during those numbers. They just put on giant pig heads and skated around trying to avoid the big bad wolf.
This is just another example of how my interests do not mesh with other people's. I never did seem to enjoy the same thing that other people got so caught up in; The Super Bowl, American Idol, Sarah Palin.
I will admit to climbing on the Justin Bieber bandwagon although that whole new hairdo, uh pardon me, haircut of his has me very upset. Don't grow up, Justin. Stay just the way you are!
