Please Shoot me When I Get this Old.....Well Maybe Not

Why do these things always ALWAYS happen when the church is full of guests? I can't really say there is anything like a typical Sunday at my church but if there were this would not have been one of them. We had a guest musician, the children's choir and a puppet show instead of the children's sermon. The choir was doing a simple old song called, "I've Got a Mansion Just Over the Hilltop" since we were having instrumental music for the prelude and offertory and half our sopranos were gone.

It all went well. For once we were able to fit a lot into the service and still manage to get out in about an hour. (In my Old Testament there are 11 commandments. The 11th one reads: mama has a roast in the oven so unless you are serving communion church better get in out an hour)

No two Sundays are ever exactly alike at our church, and for now let's assume that is a good thing. The congregation puts up with me, even allows me to serve the music director so I tend to give them a lot of leeway. It is a very accepting, loving congregation.

So it is easy to understand why I am probably the only one who was irritated when the minister went to the alter to deliver his closing prayer and a cell phone rang. But that is not my complaint. It could easily have happened to me. (I however have a very tasteful, nonobtrusive ring tone) But the cell phone didn't just ring The old (and I do mean old even by Biblical standards) man that it belonged to did not have enough sense to walk out of church or heaven forbid (literally) silence it.

Not only did he not silence it he proceeded to have an entire conversation while we were having closing prayer! in fact his last words to whatever nonchurch-going  heathen he was talking to were, "I'm at church!"

"We know!" I wanted to shout.

After church everyone was very Christian about it I must say. They considered the source and laughed it off.

I had vowed to hunt down the offender and make sure someone, anyone had let him have it but he was simply too old to confront. Besides as slow as he is he still managed to get out of church before I left the choir loft and greeted some of the guests that I knew in the congregation.

There comes a time when you are simply too old to have a cell phone or for that matter any new invention. I sometimes wonder if that day isn't soon approaching for me. At least this guy assured me that I deserved to have all my electronic devices.

The only one he should be left with is a pacemaker and whatever that device is they hang around old people's necks when they have fallen and can't get up.

God may forgive but I hold grudges.