The New Medusa

I don't know who the awful woman is that makes all those recordings for companies that you try to call for tech support but if I ever find her I am going to force her to take a good hard look at herself. She is soooo damn incompetent. I can't stand her patient tone. She never has the "number" I need. You know the drill. Press one for....press two for.....

Her voice sounds pleasant enough but I bet she has a head full of snakes, forcing her to stay hidden in a cave where she is forced to find work as a voice over artist. I picture this modern day Medusa living on an island just off the coast of India where she protects the citizens of that land from unnecessary calls so they can take breaks using their electronic devices and thinking up plots for even worse Bollywood films than they have subjected us to already.

Someone has to be protecting them otherwise they would just PICK UP THE DARN PHONE. 

The worst of these is the Verizon lady. Verizon is no longer my Internet provider but when Frontier bought them out in whatever back door scheme they came up with they some how managed to find the same irritating woman to do their voice over work.

And some how they have made the process by which you FINALLY get to a real person even longer with even more insipid questions and press one choices.

And what happens when you finally get Sahib (who is calling himself Rodney, Randy or Ralph today in an effort to appear more Westernized)  on the line? He asks you to verify the very same information that Medusa had you input on your touch tone phone.

Three things you can always be assured of when you do get Sahib on the phone; he won't be able to understand you, he won't be able to solve your problem and when he transfers your call the system will lose it and you have to listen to Medusa's siren song again. (I might have just mixed up my myths)

I could fix the nation's unemployment dilemma in one easy stroke; enact a law that demands businesses doing business in this country hire Americans, real live Americans to answer the phone. And no phone system should be allowed to ask you more than ONE press one question before you talk to a live representative. And please no one from Mississppi, Da Bronx, or any "valley girls" need apply for one of these positions. I won't be able to understand them either