Conspiracy Theory

Has anyone else noticed how absolutely lousy weekend television is lately? I am talking about what the networks routinely offer up on Friday and Saturday nights. It's all reruns or as the networks like to call them encores. Even daytime programming is airing "encores" now. I don't need to tune in to All My Children to see Erica's eleventh marriage for the second time.


But I have a conspiracy theory regarding the weekend programming or lack of programming that the networks are routinely offering up now. I believe they are in cahoots with the movie industry to make television so bad that we are forced to go to the movies to find some entertainment on weekends. And what will we see when we get there? B-rated films starring television stars like Jennifer Aniston (yawn) and Kevin James (double yawn)

Lately I can't even find a film worth going to. The passing of Elizabeth Taylor just serves to remind us that there are no bigger than life stars anymore. Brad dumping Jennifer for Angelina hardly compares to the Elizabeth/Eddie Fisher/Debbie Reynolds love triangle.

These days the most I can wish for is a marathon of RuPaul's Drag Race on Logo or episode after episode of Top Chef on E! The latter is having serious consequences for my diet. Every time one of those chefs stirs up a chocolate mousse or an eclair filled with exotic ingredients I rush to the kitchen where the best I can rustle up is a  pudding cup or a Twinkie.

But I refuse to succumb to the power of the movie studios....until Streisand finally gets the final go ahead from Arthur Laurents to film the remake of Gypsy or Colin Firth reads the phone book on camera.