I Won't Watch, Don't Ask Me

I can't bear the thought of watching election coverage tonight. Thank goodness I have Dancing With the Stars recorded. 

I used to really like election night coverage but I just can't take it any more.

When I went to vote today I had no idea what any of the candidates stood for. I only know what the opposing candidate accused them of being.

I guess I could watch on Comedy Central.

At some point isn't Jon Stewart going to have to come out of the closet  and admit he is more than a comedian? He is a political analyst. Thank goodness. Someone has to have some sense about the whole thing.

The same pundits that declared the Republican party dead. two years ago will declare the Democrats terminally ill tonight. Doesn't anyone, anywhere have any foresight?

I can't watch tonight because someone (it's usually James Carville) will declare, "The American people have spoken. They are always very wise."

What????? If they were would Sharron Angle be on a ticket anywhere except the ballot to elect representatives to the patient advisory board at Bellevue?

Would any campaign manager anywhere have to suggest to a candidate, "I think we should go with the "I am not a witch ad?."

I was slow, very slow to get on board the Barack Obama campaign wagon in 2008. I probably would never have gotten on it had McCain not decided to "spice up" things in his campaign by choosing that little spitfire from Alaska.

I wanted Hillary to win. I still think it would have been a lot more interesting to have the first woman president than the first half-black one.

Hillary has no chance of ever becoming President now. She has had way too many bad hair days on her journeys as Secretary of State. Can you imagine the pictures her opponents would post of her now in campaign ads if she did decide to run? I am sure it was Michelle's idea to send Hillary globe trotting.

Once I finally resigned myself to the fact Bill would not be the first First Gentleman, (Clearly he would have had trouble in this role) I backed Obama. But even as I found myself caught up in the glow of that election night rally in Chicago. (Where Michelle wore that striking red and black dress) I knew that we don't raise people up that high in this country not to knock them down. And if Obama rose that far that fast clearly the fall would be devastating. It may come tonight.

I don't want to watch. It's too painful You see, I am that wise American that the pundits talk about. I just wish I could multiply myself on election day. (If I lived in Chicago perhaps someone would do it for me)

If it had been up to me Ford would have won election in his own right....

We would never have had Carter....

He would never have been defeated by Ronald Reagan....

George H. W. Bush would never have succeeded him....

Clinton would not have been able to run on the weakened economy in '92...

He would never have named Gore as his running mate....

Gore would not have lost to George W.....as a result....

We would have never heard of global warming.

I have no idea who would have followed Ford. Probably Betty. She was pretty darn popular. And even she admitted she was high on pills and liquor most of the time.
Which explains why the press found her so refreshing and entertaining.

Isn't that what we really need in this country? Refreshment? Entertainment? Maybe all those Nevadans voting for Sharron Angle are just tired of that sad sack look on Harry Reid's face.

You should have listened to me in '76, America when you had the chance.