Call Nancy Grace! (But Don't Mention my Name)

Rocky is missing. And I suspect foul play. I haven't seen the little critter since before the big ice storm. I know he is gone or he would have shown up by  now. I thought perhaps it was just too cold or slippery for the little guy to venture out of his hole or whatever little luxury condo he had built for himself in that tree. (After all the guy was resourceful) But a couple of days ago I tried  to lure him out by actually filling my bird feeder again instead of just tossing the birdseed on the ground, He hasn't appeared.

 I hate to admit but I miss the little fellow. I miss him the way I used to miss grading papers in the summer or the way you miss coughing up phlegm once a cold is finally cleared up. I miss him the way I missed Newt Gingrich when he disappeared from the public scene a few years ago.

 I was beginning to think of Rocky as a pet or like the grandchildren I don't have yet. He was like a grandchild in a way. I could enjoy him when he was scampering across the ground but if he got mischievous, hogging too much of the birdseed for himself, I could just send him home by hurling a lawn implement his way.


 Nancy Grace has been on a missing persons kick lately. I see ads on HLN about her efforts to find fifty people in fifty days. So far the only person I have missed  has been Joy Behar whose time slot Nancy took over for her missing people series. Nancy has a great deal of compassion for crime victims. I can't imagine that she is not an animal lover as well.


The only trouble is I know prosecutors like Nancy always go after the next of kin first in missing person cases. I am pretty sure one of my neighbors saw me throwing dangerous objects Rocky's way. They are sure to rat me out.

My only hope is that there was  a Mrs. Rocky. Maybe during Nancy's investigation she will find out he was having an affair. There were a couple of pigeons hanging around here Rocky seemed to have his eye on. (The guy was a lot like Charlie Sheen he just couldn't respect boundaries) Whatever his fate I know once Nancy is on the case she won't stop until justice is served. She is resolute. She is formidable. She is unflappable. Unfortunately so is her hair.