The Talk Show I Want to Host

Having no more credentials than a B.A. (or is it a B.S.) in elementary education along with work experience at several really bad summer jobs including selling clothing on commission and scoring trapshooting I have come to the conclusion that the only job I am qualified to do is to host my own talk show.

 I have a concept for a show that I think would really be fun. It would require a co host. My dear departed friend Chris Jackson would be the perfect co host for this venture but despite all her quirky resources, his mother, Chrystal has yet to find a way to bring him back to earth following his sad departure.

The show operate just like any other talk show. Chris and I would bring out a guest and talk to the about their latest project or what other dribble was on their mind. (Remember the days when guests went on talk shows without a movie or book to promote? The shows were much more interesting then. And please don't tell me the format is still suffering from the loss of Johnny Carson. The man has been scum in my book since he defriended Joan Rivers)

The thing that would set our talk show apart would be the on air post-mortem that occurred after the guest left. Before we brought out our next guest Chris and I would do what all self-respecting gay friends do; talk behind the guest's back critiquing every thing about their visit from their hair, clothing, failed plastic surgeries and their latest projects.

You know those harpies on The View rip their guests to shreds after they leave but they don't have the guts to air it. I think this show would be a immensely fun. I can think of only one drawback. Who would be stupid enough to come on other than Sarah Palin or that D.C. housewife who never really got invited to the White House? At least if she complained about her treatment on the show I could always claim I had never invited her either . With her track record people are sure to believe me.