Grow up, Jimmy!

I applauded with great enthusiasm when NBC announced that Jimmy Fallon was taking over The Tonight Show. I had always found Jay Leno to be a major bore lacking in the refinement it takes to be host of a show where the greats of show business occasionally appear (depending on what project they are hawking at the moment.) Unfortunately I had rarely tuned in late enough to see his late night show. I just assumed he'd be an improvement.

He impressed me on his first night out, especially when he welcomed Joan Rivers on the program however briefly. And later in the show when he engaged in some childish hi-jinks I forgave him since it was he first night.

But in the next few weeks his games began to tire me; tossing footballs with Tom Cruise (who must have insisted they do something butch in order for him to appear), dousing himself with water with Lindsay Lohan (or maybe it was vodka considering how much Lindsay appeared to be enjoying herself.)

The night he donned one of Dolly's wigs I was beyond irritated. Jimmy just cannot treat his guests like GUESTS! He always insists on doing something to bring the attention back around to himself. Dolly looked amused but she's a smart enough business woman to know the appearance was all about album sales so she smiled and let him upstage her.

He sings with everyone! Billy Joel came on to tout his monthly appearances at Madison Square Garden. Jimmy sang with him and went into such histrionics it was painful to watch. That's when I swore off the show.

Only Babs could make me tune in again and I did even though I KNEW he would insist on singing with her. He did, donning different accessories as he impersonated different partners featured on her duets album including an Elvis wig and scarf. She did not look amused, pulling away from him on at least two occasions. I know she wanted to belt him. I wanted to belt him. 

For some odd reason he thought he could pay his respects by letting her sit behind the desk instead of on the couch during the interview which made absolutely no sense other than to make him the center of attention once again. I would have loved Barbra to refuse saying, "No thanks! I'M THE GUEST, you arrogant ass!"

He managed to insult her by gushing on and on about how much of a bitch she turned out NOT to be. Once again you mistook class for crass, Jimmy! I loved Barbra's questioning of why it is that only women in show business are referred to as divas. Great point, Babs!

I was never a huge Johnny Carson fan, preferring the nights Joan Rivers guest hosted over Johnny's appearances but at least Johnny listened to his guests. Of course back in the dark ages of television when one had to get up off the sofa to switch channels people occasionally appeared on those shows just to talk. They didn't always have movies or albums to promote. Before everyone had a hand held electronic device hidden in their pocket guests and the hosts were adept at the art of conversation. 

I doubt anything can get me to tune in to Jimmy again after this fiasco.......at least not until Bette Midler has a project to promote. In fact I hope she has one soon. There may be just enough Sophie Tucker left in the old broad to blindside boorish Jimmy if he tries to upstage her. I'd love to see her  slap him with one of her fins a time or two before he  can whip out the giant scaling knife he will be sure to have hidden behind the sofa.