The Magic is Gone

I admit it. I'm shallow. Just look how long it has taken me to post anything on this blog. I'm not even going to promise to do better. I'm way too self indulgent. Which is probably why I was so bitterly disappointed in the last film Larry and I went to see, Magic Mike.

I can't say I wasn't prepared to be disappointed. I was. First, the movie got very good reviews, 79% favorable on Rotten Tomatoes. Good reviews are almost always a bad sign. Secondly the previews looked really good and featured the dancing and few one liners. I know better. Never never trust a movie with a good preview.

I admit it. The only reason I wanted to see this movie was the strippers. This movie looks like it was directed by a straight man. What kind of self respecting stripper keeps his pants on for 90% of his act? The ones in Magic Mike do. Honestly, even a stripper who doesn't want to take his clothes off has to know that he isn't going to get tipped until he goes down to his thong. There was nothing sexy or sensual about any of the dance routines either.

All the strippers in the film's troupe were straight. I do not buy that at all. There were five guys in the act and even male stripper troupes that perform strictly for women have at least one (more like four)  gay guys in the group.

We saw this movie in a theatre full of women. That in itself is beyond irritating. I have been to male strip clubs that allow men and women inside. The women always, always act like they are still in junior high. It isn't like they didn't know where they were going. It is so annoying. There something embedded deep in our culture that still says women aren't supposed to like sex (yeah like I'm an expert) so even  when they do get away to a strip club they feel like they have to act embarrassed. It's okay, girls. Your mother isn't watching. (She's in the back oiling down the men)

Then there was the fact that this movie had a plot. Why? It didn't get in the way too much. In fact I actually liked Channing Tatum's character and his love interest BUT for some god forsaken reason all the scenes outside the strip club were filmed in some hideous sepia tone that I haven't seen since the original movie version of South Pacific, a movie I have never watched in its entirety simply because I spend the entire movie wondering why Mitzy Gaynor looks so jaundiced.

When will I learn? There are some movies I will go  despite how bad they are. If a movie has Barbra Streisand, Dolly Parton or male strippers I'm going to be there! But no more Madea films! That feisty gal is always the only one on the poster and then you end up having to wait till the last ten minutes of the film for her to arrive and deliver her three zingers. Done with you, Medea. I know your scam!