Maybe if he were selling French dressing I'd care. Maybe if he were selling ranch dressing or even blue cheese but there is something about those new "make it Zesty" commercials that I find over the top.
I loved the Old Spice guy a couple of years ago.
I still remember Lucky from the Diet Coke commercials fondly but this Zesty guy leaves me cold despite his proximity to a grill.
I think it's because he thinks he's sexy himself. He's pushing himself and that salad dressing way too much. He's too obvious. Maybe I'm just jealous because I don't grill. But if I did I could assure I'd only be charbroiling the chicken, not myself.
The Old Spice guy was appealing because he did everything with a wink that said, "I'm fit but I'm funny!"
Lucky, the Diet Coke guy didn't know those women were watching or if he did he didn't acknowledge it. I can't tell you the number of times I've been out working in the yard and splashed a hose on my overheated chest to cool myself off. Oh wait. Yes I can. Once. It happened once. Within minutes T-shirts were flying onto my lawn from the direction of three different houses. One even had a not attached, "Put this on.....NOW!". So much for my career in advertising.
I never thought I would be writing in defense of this woman. She has very little appeal to me. I didn't watch Survivor. I have no particular admiration for football wives and pretty little blondes in tube top dresses never captured my imagination. I will give her credit for one thing. Despite her diminutive cup size I rarely if ever saw Elisabeth yanking at her tube top (See I can praise a Republican when they do something worthy of respect)
Elisabeth earned my grudging respect by quitting The View abruptly. Once her contract with Fox News was signed she dropped Barbara faster than Tim Tebow dismissing an NFL cheerleader demanding a little foreplay.
I used to enjoy their Hot Topics segments. But that was until Barbara Walters started showing up at the table every morning. In the first few years of the show Barbara rarely appeared. At the time she was much to busy hosting 20/20 or interviewing the most important news makers of the day. Remember? She use to ask big stars penetrating questions like when she famously asked Katherine Hepburn what kind of tree she was. If Barbara were a plant she'd be an invasive weed.
The fewer big stories ABC news assigns to her the more Barbara intruded into the conversation on The View. Whoopi Goldberg is the supposed host of The View but not on days when Babs is there. Barbara interrupts, she chastises, she stops conversations cold. Surely The View holds production meetings. Barbara is the boss. Why doesn't she have the good sense to lay down the law to her subordinates backstage before she goes on? I have kitchen utensils less grating than this woman.
Whoopi disappoints me. I remember when Whoopi was hip, cutting edge. But I guess once you've gone down the Sister Act route you pretty much give up any street cred you might have. And Whoopi is a smart enough cookie not to go all Rosie O'Donnell on us. Still, just once I'd love to hear Whoopi cry, "I'm talking, bitch!" when Babs interrupts her.
Joy Behar had the good sense to quit too or who knows maybe she was fired. For the last two years she pretty much been relegated to sitting on the couch with her arms crossed. Her body language tells me she checked out a long time ago. And who could blame her? The cohosts' jobs have been reduced to fawning over Barbara.
One of these days I'll summon up enough energy to go somewhere deep in the bowels of my Direct TV remote and remove The View from my record "to do list" but for now the show still records although I rarely check in.
Barbara is retiring next spring and I'm sure I won't be able to stomach watching in her season on air. Let's just hope they've all had their hepatitis shots because I cannot imagine the amount of ass kissing the other women at the table are going to be expected to do in the next ten months.
I can't imagine why Whoopi stays around to put up with this abuse unless they have promised her that she'll finally really get to host once Babs leaves. I can just hear the old Whoopi I used to love wondering around backstage muttering, "I'm gonna cut da bitch....I'm gonna cut da bitch...."
I hope ABC is having to pay dearly for the privilege of keeping Whoopi muzzled for one more season. But then again any woman who would agree to doing Sister Act II will agree to anything.
When will I learn not to complain on Facebook? After any posts about the self checkout at Wal-Mart I get responses about costing people their jobs by using those odious machines equipped with the voice of an irritatingly patient woman. (I believe she also works for Verizon).
One must remember that complaining about Wal-Mart is a god given right if one lives in rural America. I realize Wal-Mart installed them as a cost cutting measure (not that you can tell from the price I paid for my last package of E. L. Fudge cookies). But I'm not sure that by refusing to use self checkout that I will change corporate policy. (Lord knows my last fifteen calls to customer service hasn't)
I heard a report on television last night that drones might soon be making pizza deliveries. Should I now refuse to order pizza as well? I would like to try just once. It sounds pretty cool unless the drone forgets its mission and takes me out by mistake. I do sometimes resemble Osama Bin Laden after a few days without shaving, particularly after a shower with a towel draped over my head.
Did the first people that used automobiles get complaints that they were putting blacksmiths
and livery boys out of business?
I don't get any flack when I download a song from I-Tunes even though I am putting people who make CD cases out of work. Come to think of it I don't remember people grumbling when I switched from cassettes to CDs or from eight tracks to cassette or from......I could go on and on here. About the only transition I haven't had to make was from changing player piano rolls to cartridges for Victrolas.
Automation put my life in danger earlier this week when I ran out of blood pressure pills. I had dreaded calling the new phone voice system Moody's Pharmacy just installed. Thankfully a story on the sudden death of James Gandolfini snapped me back to my senses and I made the dreaded call. It was just as annoying as I had expected. And I swear the same woman from the checkouts and Verizon was instructing me to "Press one if." She is everywhere. She is going to take over the nation if not the world. I bet Osama had to call her whenever he needed new dialysis equipment.
I missed talking to a real person (I love hearing them snicker when a guy whose last name is Cox asks to have his Viagra refilled)and I hope Moody's hasn't fired anyone since switching to their new phone system. But I am going to stand up for myself this time. If it comes down to deciding between using a touch pad on my phone and thereby throwing someone out of work and dying too young like Tony Soprano I'll use the dang touch pad.
